SelfCare Sundays

A few years ago, my wife and I were invited by some new friends to attend a social gathering at their home. They called it SelfCare Sunday (SCS), and as the name suggests, it was held every two or three weeks on a Sunday afternoon. The concept was to provide a safe and inviting environment that would allow attendees the freedom of radical self-expression and the giving and receiving of care. It was open to all gender identities and cultures, a practice that put the open back in open house. The concept intrigued us, and we happily accepted their offer.

Since that first day, we have probably attended thirty or more of these beautiful afternoons. We have watched it grow and morph into something I don’t think any of us could have foreseen. It is also something that I feel aligns itself with many of the tenets of The Church of Unreasonable Happiness: inclusion, acceptance, and consent, to name a few. Because of this, I feel compelled to share this idea here and encourage hosts in other communities to create and hold their own.

The structure is the same every week, but the contents of the day can vary greatly based on the mix of people, their energies, and flow. It begins at 1PM an ends at 4:30. Everyone is invited to bring along an offering of food that they can share. Once we are settled in and the glorious food is laid out on the table, we gather in the living room in a big circle on the floor. We always begin with our host expressing gratitude for the land we are on with recognition of the stories of the people who were on the land before us, the home we are in, and the bounty that the guests have brought to share. Typically, there are between 12-18 of us. A talking stick is then passed around the circle, with each individual introducing themselves by name and gender identity. At that point, we each share what gift of service we would like to offer the others and what our own personal needs are that someone else may be able to fulfill. Offerings can often include massage, Reiki, sound healings, cupping, hair braiding, and playing musical instruments. Needs may include bodywork, a cuddle, or even just a conversation. The offerings and desires can vary greatly depending on the participants. We are very fortunate that the venue we attend has a great selection of various instruments (along with people who can play them), a large open 'cuddle' area in front of a wood-burning fireplace, and even a sauna.

Once the introductions are done, the group disperses into smaller groups, already deep into discussions or around the dining room table enjoying the nourishment. Anything can happen at that point. Depending on the season and weather, people migrate outside, into the sauna, or spread out on the blankets and pillows by the fire. At around 4:00 pm, we re-gather in a circle on the floor and once again pass the talking stick between us, sharing our experiences and gratitudes of the day. It always seems to end too soon. At that point, our host closes the day, and everyone contributes to cleaning up after ourselves. That's it, super easy, co-created, and regenerative to our bodies and souls.

Even after all this time, the excitement for SelfCare Sunday (SCS) remains strong. The evolution of the community is inspiring. Hearing someone express gratitude for an event like this has been heartwarming and fulfilling. Helping others has allowed me to witness the profound impact of self-expression in a safe and caring environment. Self-care is crucial as it helps maintain a healthy relationship with oneself and others. It has helped me to develop empathy and compassion, It enables me to recharge, handle stress better, be more productive, and maintain a positive outlook on life. Some of the comments that I have heard about SCS are that it is 'extremely grounding,' 'good to be in a space where I can completely be myself,' and 'I really was craving being touched, and receiving a massage made my day.' Who wouldn’t want that?

Now more than ever, it's important to engage in community and support our tribes. Just a few hours of sharing, and caring, can bring much-needed joy to someone's life, and your own. If you are interested in starting your own SelfCare Sunday, we welcome you to follow our format, or create one of your own. Your social media account is a great tool for organizing your own SelfCare Sunday and fostering connections.